Spent the afternoon with the poopy doctor.
I kid you not. There really is such a thing.
Technically the clinic is called the PIP clinic (pain and incontinence program or as they joke, poop in your pants program. Come up with your own fun name. It's endless)
230 apt and the clinic was filled. Some obvious developmentally challenged kids, some clearly stubborn and strong willed like my youngest. 45 minutes later we are seen. Poopy Dr apologizes profusely and even allows youngest to refer to her as the poopy doctor. There's immediate rapor.
I cut to the chase. I let her know I'm not a moronic mother. I've done all the tricks (bribery, punishment, begging and pleading. Aside from locking him in his room until he goes in a toilet, I've done it all) She sits and listens. Examines my four year old and assures me there is hope. Poopy doc promises me he will not go to college in pull ups and suggests a sticker chart.
Okay, we were getting along great up until now.
Are you kidding? Have you not heard what I've been saying? I've tried EVERYTHING. You think stickers are going to work with this kid?
Youngest stops playing his video game, puts down the lollipop (hey, I'm a mother who comes prepared. Clearly I've been to a few doctor apts so I know how things go. 45 minute wait time was not out of the norm for us)
"Stickers? I have to poop? No thank you"
Then goes back to playing Handy Manny on the Leapster.
I give her my complacent smile and try to refrain from making wise cracks.
"Yea, you see, stickers don't really work here. He wont sit and poop. For anything. Not even Disney world"
15 minutes later she comes back with her attending doc (AKA the one who knows more)
"So" she says to youngest. "I understand you've been peeing in the toilet for a very long time now and you are doing GREAT with this". He looks at me, then at her, wondering what the scam is.
"Yes" he says. Afraid. Very afraid.
"Mommy. Are you SURE I'm not going to need to sleep here?" I assure him that he will home safe in his bed by the end of the night but he needs to listen to the Poopy boss in order to get out of here.
"I suggest we just try sitting on the toilet. No pooping. As a matter of fact, do not poop at all while on the toilet for the next three weeks. We are just going to sit. Five minutes, twice a day. First fully clothed, next week pants off, and so on.."
Youngest seems satisfied but wants clarification.
"So. I don't need to poop on the potty?"
Poopy boss confirms.
"Okay Mommy. Let's go. Let's get those stickers. When I get all my stickers I'm going to get a special surprise right? Because that's what the poopy Dr said I could do. I'm going to pick CANDY"
Of course he is. He is my child after all. We solve all crises with chocolate.
So we leave.
Sticker chart in hand.
Pressure off--of both of us.
I firmly believe my son will eventually be fully toilet trained
for now,
I put up with his crap.
I kid you not. There really is such a thing.
Technically the clinic is called the PIP clinic (pain and incontinence program or as they joke, poop in your pants program. Come up with your own fun name. It's endless)
230 apt and the clinic was filled. Some obvious developmentally challenged kids, some clearly stubborn and strong willed like my youngest. 45 minutes later we are seen. Poopy Dr apologizes profusely and even allows youngest to refer to her as the poopy doctor. There's immediate rapor.
I cut to the chase. I let her know I'm not a moronic mother. I've done all the tricks (bribery, punishment, begging and pleading. Aside from locking him in his room until he goes in a toilet, I've done it all) She sits and listens. Examines my four year old and assures me there is hope. Poopy doc promises me he will not go to college in pull ups and suggests a sticker chart.
Okay, we were getting along great up until now.
Are you kidding? Have you not heard what I've been saying? I've tried EVERYTHING. You think stickers are going to work with this kid?
Youngest stops playing his video game, puts down the lollipop (hey, I'm a mother who comes prepared. Clearly I've been to a few doctor apts so I know how things go. 45 minute wait time was not out of the norm for us)
"Stickers? I have to poop? No thank you"
Then goes back to playing Handy Manny on the Leapster.
I give her my complacent smile and try to refrain from making wise cracks.
"Yea, you see, stickers don't really work here. He wont sit and poop. For anything. Not even Disney world"
15 minutes later she comes back with her attending doc (AKA the one who knows more)
"So" she says to youngest. "I understand you've been peeing in the toilet for a very long time now and you are doing GREAT with this". He looks at me, then at her, wondering what the scam is.
"Yes" he says. Afraid. Very afraid.
"Mommy. Are you SURE I'm not going to need to sleep here?" I assure him that he will home safe in his bed by the end of the night but he needs to listen to the Poopy boss in order to get out of here.
"I suggest we just try sitting on the toilet. No pooping. As a matter of fact, do not poop at all while on the toilet for the next three weeks. We are just going to sit. Five minutes, twice a day. First fully clothed, next week pants off, and so on.."
Youngest seems satisfied but wants clarification.
"So. I don't need to poop on the potty?"
Poopy boss confirms.
"Okay Mommy. Let's go. Let's get those stickers. When I get all my stickers I'm going to get a special surprise right? Because that's what the poopy Dr said I could do. I'm going to pick CANDY"
Of course he is. He is my child after all. We solve all crises with chocolate.
So we leave.
Sticker chart in hand.
Pressure off--of both of us.
I firmly believe my son will eventually be fully toilet trained
for now,
I put up with his crap.
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