A few weeks ago I stood in line at Marshalls because youngest needed a blue "decent" shirt.
And by decent I mean solid blue shirt. No logo, stripes, collar or buttons.
Thankfully I knew that the little guy on the red horse passed the test (thank you Ralph) and I stood in line.
It was a comfortable weather day and although there were a few people in front of me; I was in no huge rush and browsed the crap that they put in the register aisle so people will by said pad of paper, apple macintosh yankee candle or the 50 different chargers and cases that you may possibly need.
All was well; until it wasn't.
Hear me out ladies- if you are not here yet- god bless you.
Enjoy your perfectly normal temperature body because there will come a time when this happens.
When you are minding your own business feeling not in the slightest of needing to jump in a pool and then
wham
Marshalls just moved to the Sahara Desert.
The patience I had just got tested and that line could not have moved any slower if I begged.
Sweat was dripping off of my face that made me look like I just ran a marathon.
Which of course, makes me laugh just thinking of it because I can barely run to my mailbox.
But yea, there I was.
Fanning myself with my hand and tempted to wipe my brow with the Ralph Lauren solid blue, no stripes buttons or collar navy t-shirt.
In front of me was a cooler of sodas and power drinks.
I was so tempted to grab one and put it all over my neck but figured that may produce a few looks and the teenage girls behind me would not understand "hot flash".
The line moved.
I was so happy to see the woman at the register I thought I would make small talk.
She was a bit older and for sure, would have empathy for my out of the blue hot flash (Which really is an oxymoron because they are always out of the blue.)
"Oh my gosh" I say to Estelle. Because she looks like an Estelle.
"Aren't you so hot back there? It would be nice if they opened the doors up for you on this gorgeous day."
I had 5 heads.
"Really? I'm actually quite comfortable. It's a perfect temperature in here I think. Are you hot, dear?"
I share with Estelle my "Im about to die if I dont pay for this shirt and get outside into fresh air" hotflash, thinking that maybe, she would just hurry up a bit.
I'm pretty sure she slowed it down.
Yup. 5 heads.
Estelle could not relate or empathize with my need to dunk myself into an ice cold shower.
Pronto.
$12.99 later (Marshalls bargain) I'm pretty sure I ran out the door and blasted my A/C before Estelle even had a chance to ring up the teenage girl.
What seemed like 45 minutes was really probably only 10 but that's the unfortunate part of the hot flash.
Comes on like a summer storm.
So if you aren't in the joy of hotflashes due to natural menopause or the forced kind due to effin cancer...
LIVE IT UP
Soon enough, you, too, will be visiting the Sahara.
And by decent I mean solid blue shirt. No logo, stripes, collar or buttons.
Thankfully I knew that the little guy on the red horse passed the test (thank you Ralph) and I stood in line.
It was a comfortable weather day and although there were a few people in front of me; I was in no huge rush and browsed the crap that they put in the register aisle so people will by said pad of paper, apple macintosh yankee candle or the 50 different chargers and cases that you may possibly need.
All was well; until it wasn't.
Hear me out ladies- if you are not here yet- god bless you.
Enjoy your perfectly normal temperature body because there will come a time when this happens.
When you are minding your own business feeling not in the slightest of needing to jump in a pool and then
wham
Marshalls just moved to the Sahara Desert.
The patience I had just got tested and that line could not have moved any slower if I begged.
Sweat was dripping off of my face that made me look like I just ran a marathon.
Which of course, makes me laugh just thinking of it because I can barely run to my mailbox.
But yea, there I was.
Fanning myself with my hand and tempted to wipe my brow with the Ralph Lauren solid blue, no stripes buttons or collar navy t-shirt.
In front of me was a cooler of sodas and power drinks.
I was so tempted to grab one and put it all over my neck but figured that may produce a few looks and the teenage girls behind me would not understand "hot flash".
The line moved.
I was so happy to see the woman at the register I thought I would make small talk.
She was a bit older and for sure, would have empathy for my out of the blue hot flash (Which really is an oxymoron because they are always out of the blue.)
"Oh my gosh" I say to Estelle. Because she looks like an Estelle.
"Aren't you so hot back there? It would be nice if they opened the doors up for you on this gorgeous day."
I had 5 heads.
"Really? I'm actually quite comfortable. It's a perfect temperature in here I think. Are you hot, dear?"
I share with Estelle my "Im about to die if I dont pay for this shirt and get outside into fresh air" hotflash, thinking that maybe, she would just hurry up a bit.
I'm pretty sure she slowed it down.
Yup. 5 heads.
Estelle could not relate or empathize with my need to dunk myself into an ice cold shower.
Pronto.
$12.99 later (Marshalls bargain) I'm pretty sure I ran out the door and blasted my A/C before Estelle even had a chance to ring up the teenage girl.
What seemed like 45 minutes was really probably only 10 but that's the unfortunate part of the hot flash.
Comes on like a summer storm.
So if you aren't in the joy of hotflashes due to natural menopause or the forced kind due to effin cancer...
LIVE IT UP
Soon enough, you, too, will be visiting the Sahara.
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