eatthefrostingfirst

I lost my shit at Wegman's today. And not for reasons you may think. The parking lot was fairly crowded so I braced myself for the inside. I only needed a few things so knew my shop would be quick. I was greeted by a man cleaning the carts off. I thanked him and moved my way into the store- where I saw several signs telling shoppers to abide by the rules and that tape was placed down in multiple areas of the store; reminding us to stay at least a cart length away from each other. The deli counter was closed (turkey breast on my list) but they had a taped off area of their pre packaged selections. One person at a time (even though a few were disregarding this rule.) For the most part, people were civil and polite. Little eye contact, many wearing gloves and masks, just wanting to get their groceries and move on their way. The checkout line was long but extremely organized. It was roped off by sections and each person stood on their red taped line until they were told to...

Ive reached a new low. I am angry at a 14lb, 10 week old bernedoodle puppy. I just want my life back. I want to be able to watch Law and Order without worrying she is going to pee on the floor. I want to sleep through the night (or you know, not sleep through the night but be able to get up to pee without being afraid Im going to wake the dog in the crate that MUST be next to me or she wont sleep) Im worrying about our life getting back to normal. And that means puppy and corona all mixed into one. My teen boys have been rockstars. They are hanging out, doing what they should be doing, and are seemingly, so far, unscathed. Me? Not so much. Because I'm angry at a puppy. And  as I write, youngest is googling April Fools pranks. As if this giant virus isn't one big awful prank. Silver linings: I am ROCKING the unshowered, no make up, sweatpants for days look.

Thoughts for day #somewhere in week 2 DH has decided we only need to now refer to days as "weekdays" and "weekends". I really feel no need -other than the fact I need to know if it's "This is us" night or "Married at first sight" night. I am infuriated that POP is now running HOUSE all day as opposed to Beverly Hills 90210.  Is anything sacred anymore? And while I'm on the rant, I can't even find a book that I want to read. Which is fine because I am almost positive I am incapable of having any kind of attention span. Youngest has been awaking sometime before Noon, until yesterday, when virtual school had the AUDACITY to schedule back to back video check in's at 10AM. Oldest has left his play station to pee, eat and occasionally say hello. 50+ years of biting my nails and I chose last month to start growing them. I now need a manicure and haven't a clue how to file them.  I'm fearful that once this is over, t...

Dear fellow worriers I’ll be 100% truthful with you I’m not doing great. I’ve joked I’ve wanted to keep my boys home in a bubble in the past- because things like peanut allergies and them driving and growing up scares the bejesus out of me some days. But for the most part - I was kidding. Now here we are - living in a bubble- and it’s not making me calm. Im forever grateful they are at home with me where I know they are safe and I can keep them safe but I’m getting scared. I know this is normal. I know many of you are also scared. (And the ones that aren’t - please give me tips how not to be).  I need to stay away from reading every single  social media article posted . I certainly need to stop listening to our narcissistic president (I cannot believe we are in a pandemic and he is the one supposed to be leading us through this. This worries me on top of the 100 other worries). I worry our death toll is rising. I worry this won’t end any time soon. I’m guessing many of you sh...

The year; 2003. The location; Boston MASS. I was on bedrest for 10 weeks. I then gave birth to premature twins. One survived. One did not. To say my life turned upside down is an understatement. Most of you know how this went... Oldest stayed in the NICU for 6 months and then came home with a tracheostomy, feeding tube and lived on a ventilator and oxygen until he was 19 months. I had stock in Purell. You were not allowed into my house without washing your hands and if you so much had a sniffle, we would not hang out together. We rarely left the house. If we did, it was for a walk around the neighborhood or to the hospital for a drs appointment. Therapists came in and out of our house. Washing up before interacting began. Oldest had multiple pneumonias throughout his first 4 years of life so we were in and out of hospitals constantly. I was extremely socially isolated. I was too busy worrying about his health to spend time with friends. We hung out at home quite ...

I dont get really angry often (ok. hold on a sec while I stop cracking myself up) (let me rephrase) I dont get really angry online often. I dont get really angry online often and then post about it. But here I go. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Stop allowing your kids to play basketball with other kids. They are not allowed to be hanging in your basement together (and just as bad, posting it on social media!) There are no playdates. Not for you. Not for your kids. There are no hangouts even "just for an hour" or "just with your friend who you know is safe." The kids are bored. The parents dont want to homeschool. The kids are bored. The parents need wine. The kids are bored. I get it. So you think, you know what? No one in my town has been sick yet. What is a one hour hang out going to hurt? It hurts everyone if that one hour hangout gets Danny sick. Because then Danny gets his grandmother and Aunt Debbie sick. And then the grandmother gets ...

Im pretty sure TGIF is no longer a thing. I think people need to seriously start considering stocking up on toothpaste and deoderant. Youngest may never see the lights of pre 11AM ever again. I pray oldest comes out of this funk. He is not pissed off at the social distancing -he is pissed off that the entire sports world is non existant. So here's the thing. I'm a pro at social distancing. Cancer, chemo and surgeries made me almost an expert. And before that I was on bedrest for 10 weeks pregnant with oldest and Zachary.  High risk pregnancy not only made me social distance but I wasn't even allowed to have a daily shower. See how lucky we all are? SOAP IS OUR FRIEND! We are only on week one and the end is nowhere in sight. We are starting to get a bit antsier and a bit nervouser (that should really be a word) Our kids are learning a new norm. We are all learning a new norm. Silver linings are hard to find in this new world of ours. But it is imperativ...

It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago, DH and I were actually arguing about whether we should cancel our cruise or not. It's hard to believe that within weeks, and now down to days and hours, the world is changing. This anxious writer was "relatively" calm up until 24 hours ago. Nothing has changed to make me more panicked- other than the news. All of it. Articles from Italy residents "warning" us, as Americans, to heed their advice. Someone who knows someone who is on a ventilator due to Covid19. Reading about a guy who was recently at Disney world who has now passed from the virus. (Who had an underlying condition of Asthma and frequent bronchitis) (This one terrifies me the most because of my two asthmatic children and oldest who has more than his fair share of crappy lung stories) I try to shut the news off. I try not to read the articles. DO NOT READ THE ARTICLES, my little inside voice tells me. So I don't. Until I do. Becau...

Hello Fellow Social Distancers and welcome to day I like to call "not sure what day of the week it actually is". For inquiring minds, my pup slept much better and shout out to all that recommended snuggle puppy with the beating heart beat. I thought you were all a bit nuts to spend $40 on a beating heartbeat stuffed animal but OMG- she slept- in the crate- without whining for an hour. Best $ I EVER spent. Im also pretty positive she is loving the social distancing thing because she is surrounded by her family now every second of every day for the unforeseeable future (God help us if there is no end date to this madness) We are holding up fairly well over here, yet I am keenly aware it is only day 6. Oldest is definitely bored out of his skull with no sports on, no desire to read, no online classes as of yet and no interest in baking or puzzling! At first I was thinking to myself "oh these poor parents who have to keep the younger kids busy all day" but am now...

Good morning my fellow distancers We, here in our household are on social distancing day 5 Puppy day 2. We put our beloved Wilsey down last month and it completely broke me. "Im not even sure I want another dog" I said, repetitively, through my tears. "I need time. At least not til after summer" And then we had to cancel our cruise. And then, with each passing day, my heart grew empty. Our house was missing something. Our hearts were missing something. And then the breeder told me there will be an availability March 15th. Come and see. "We have the whole family home. You know. Indefinitely. What a perfect time to train" I pleaded as I looked at the potential puppy pictures. Convinced I would take one home but didn't want to get my hopes up. And then we met Skylar. She chose us. She came right to me and enveloped me with puppy kisses. As the rest of the family looked at other puppies; I knew. Skylar was going to come home with us...

I needed to get creative. A contest, I decided. Brilliant. I tell the boys. Ok teenagers I will give you 48 hours to clean your rooms. You will be judged on 4 categories and scored appropriately. What does the winner get? Youngest ask. Because I know my children so well, I knew that a simple competition was not going to cut it. Bribery was the only way I was going to get my results. And I'm okay with that because drastic times call for drastic measures. Winner would get a "prize" of their choice up to X$ amount. (In effort to not be judged, I refuse to tell you the actual amount I decided upon. That being said. File under things I never thought youngest would say " I need to go. I need to get started cleaning on my room" So there's that. Dustbusters are being used. And garbage bags. I am BRILLIANT, I say to DH, as we watch HGTV with our feet up on the couch. Okay, so yea, it's day 2 of this social distancing thing but I feel like I...

Anyone else wishing we could go back and discuss things like Tom Brady being a free agent and whether or not the Kardashians will let Kourtney be in the next episode? But here we are. We are officially in a pandemic and it's no joke. This is what I've learned, pondered and/or obsessed about in the last few weeks. Please add to my list.. We had to cancel our cruise. This was a no brainer with each changing day however we are still disappointed. That being said, we are not afraid to cruise in the future. The cruise lines did not cause the virus and if anyone has ever been on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship, you can attest to the fact they are quite serious about keeping clean. They constantly are wiping down railings and elevators and someone LITERALLY stands in front of the dining rooms with a bottle of purell not letting you pass go unless you get a squirt. Do not let this deter you from sailing. We love it. I realize it's not for everyone and that's fine but do no...

Hello my fellow type A friends My fellow worriers (and warriors) My fellow I cant stop watching the news and cannot turn away from the news friends And anyone who may not fall into the above category. Once upon a time, oldest lived on a ventilator. We were fortunate enough, at the time, to have a back up vent in case the power went out. (This blows my mind because I highly doubt in 2020, that my health insurance would "allow" me a back up ventilator, but back in 2004 we were the lucky ones) I was petrified during snow storms. Not because of the snow but because I was worried of a power outage. Because the vent had a backup battery but not an endless supply. My son needed that vent to breathe. To survive. When people came to visit, I made them wash their hands before coming close to oldest. This wasn't because I was a nut bag but because he had really shitty lungs and was really susceptible to catching a cold and because that cold could easily (and often...

Dear Sons (And your sons, and your daughters), Let me start by saying this; you are SO loved. There is nothing you could do or say to make me not love you. There may be days, however, that I do not always like you. And you may not always like me. But that's okay. My job is to make sure you are safe. And that  you know how to keep yourself safe. So that annoyance you feel when I make sure you are washing hands, checking ingredients, making sure you have your epi pen, kiss your forehead to see if you have a fever...that's me doing what I signed up for. I also want you to know how amazing you are. Do not roll your eyes at me when I tell you for the 100th time. I speak the truth. This is not just something I see. Others see it too. Maybe the girl you like doesn't see it. Or maybe the kids you want to be friends with don't see it. But that doesn't mean you are not simply amazing. It just means that not everyone is meant to mesh. And that's w...