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Showing posts from March, 2010

Will the real Abby please stand up?

Two days after being diagnosed with Breast Cancer, my identity was stolen. I never wrote about it because, well, frankly, I was bombarded with cancer crap. I saw a piece on a show on identity theft recently and it brought back emotions. Mostly anger. At myself and at the stupid person who thought she could be Abby Stern and take out 10k from my savings account while she was in Universal City, California..without me noticing. Thankfully dear husband is a smart cookie and puts out alerts on our accounts. If we withdraw over a certain amount, our bank notifies us, by email. We so happened to be on email at 9PM that night when we saw said notification. After hours on the phone with the bank, verifying I was indeed who I said I was, we put a hold on our accounts and spent the better part of the next morning opening new ones in a local branch. A huge pain in my behind, to say the least. Later that day I got a call from my bank asking if I was in California. I looked around at m...

Fatigue at it's finest

I have been back and forth to Mass General Hospital a total of 8 times over the past two weeks. My father has been in and out of Mass General a total of 3 times in the past two weeks. Youngest went there to get his cast off. Didn't even need to be cut; thing slid right off his arm. Went to see Dr Ortho for bursitis in left shoulder and left with a diagnoses of bursitis in both shoulders. Need to see Physical Therapy twice/week. I have no time to see Physical Therapy even once/week. Have been to the dry cleaners three times in 5 days. Have been to CVS twice this week for medication refills. And deodorant. Have a camp reunion meeting and a PTO Book fair to work on; both events that I'm "chairing" Was supposed to have passover dinner in my house until my Aunt also got admitted to the hospital and now it's cancelled because what's Passover dinner with five people; two who are under the age of 7 and don't eat brisket anyways. Too bad Aunt and Dad can't be a...

This is a rough job

Parenting is by far the hardest job I've ever had. It drains me...stress, love, exhaustion, joy, fear, worries Last night, after a bad few weeks, I took a walk with a dear friend. We both discussed how good it felt to walk off our frustrations yet realized how little it takes to stress us out these days. We often yell and have short fuses over little things. Why? Because we are day in and day out with our children and forget what it's like to talk with an adult. We forget what it is like to discuss things other than chicken nuggets, bowel movements and sharing toys. So today, at my oldest's IEP meeting (Individualized Education Plan. Children who have special needs are often on IEP's to get the services they need in school), I tried to look at the big picture. I tried to realize that my child is not the only child with issues and lets focus on the whole shebang as opposed to disecting him. The big picture is that my son is doing quite well in school. He is "up to ...

Conversation with my four year old

On way to hospital to get youngest's cast off Mommy. Why is that man on the side of the road holding a sign? (SIGN: I'm sober and homeless. Need money) Well honey. You know how we give our old toys and clothes to people who sometimes cant afford them? This man doesn't have much money and is asking for some. How do people get money? They work. Daddy gets money from S? (aka boss) No honey. (Daddy's work) gives Daddy money. Does Dr A. get money? Yes honey. Lots. Why do we need money? To buy chap stick? Amongst other things. When you get married you need money so your kids can have clothes and food and toys. I'm never getting married. I want to make the rules and you said when you get married the mommy makes the rules. (Shit, how do I get out of this one?) No. Daddy makes rules doesn't he? You can make rules when you get married. Ponders I'm not getting married because I want to live with you forever. In our house. I don't ne...

Marriage

I spent over an hour last night watching my wedding video. I cried through the entire thing. (Shocking Im sure for those who know me!) It's amazing what you forget about the day .. I forgot how we had a sushi bar. I forgot how there were 4 little girls sitting on the steps of the hotel watching us take pictures. I forgot how my niece, at the age of 3, talked incessantly about Baby Elmo. I forgot how much I loved my vail and how I had a bit too much blush on my cheeks. I forgot how much my Father's speech made me laugh (and cry) and how beautiful the flowers were. I did not, however, forget how much I loved being a bride. I'm not a person who craves constant attention but, I admit, I loved being in the center for the moment. I glowed the bridal glow. In two weeks I'll be attending a wedding as sister in law of the groom and I gotta tell you, I'm damn excited! Besides the fact that I love a good wedding, I love my brother in law and future wife and am beyond elated ...

Resignation as an adult

I found my old journals last night. I spent a couple of hours glancing through them; remembering the heartache I felt after my HS boyfriend and I broke up once we went to college. The crush I had for years on a singer. The fights I had as a teenager with my Mom. Those journals are priceless and gave me a good walk down memory lane. I also found a printout called "Resignation as an adult" Here is my, somewhat, adapted version. I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 yr old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to be able to eat whatever I want and not care that it may make me fat. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to play four square, SPUD, trace my shadows, make mashed potato fudge as a science experiment and have ...

When it rains...

it's a monsoon. That's been my week. Shoulder MRI showed some kind of tear of something and tendonitis. Nothing serious but Im sure my ortho is going to tell me to do PT. Who the hell has time for PT? Shoot me up with some cortisone and send me on my way. Unfortunately, he wont be doing any sending for another two weeks bc I cant see him till then. My Dad's in the hospital in heart failure. The term actually sounds scarier than it is but it basically means he has too much fluid around his heart. He has had heart issues for about 5 yrs and it's wearing him down. Refrigerator is leaking. Two weeks to go till warranty expires. Wait 2 hours for GE repair man to come to then tell me after 5 minutes he needs to order parts and return next week. Same time frame. Nothing like killing your afternoon. Oldest has been invited to a laser tag party. Laser tag with guns. Not sure I approve of this but am sending him anyways. Kid's socially shy as it is I cant ban him ...

Thursday Thoughts

I love my accountant. Thank you for bringing us a refund this year. and I love my cleaning lady. Oldest has lice going around his classroom. I'm thankful I have two boys with short hair. I itch just thinking about it. The week from hell just keeps on coming I would be happy just watching the last 5 minutes of AMERICAN IDOL. I live in New England and I've never been to Nantucket. It's time to change that this summer Nothing beats an afternoon dancing to disco music with my 4 yr old Some Mother's amaze me with their elitist attitudes. It's no wonder their children grow up to be snobs I have an urge to bake cupcakes but have no time 2 months till Disney World. My boys still dont know "for sure" that we're going and I cant wait to experience a week there with them. As much as I complain, they really are at a great age

Hell day continued

You ever have one of those days? I seem to have them quite often. Hell weekend has continued into Tuesday. Let's recap I have spent the past 24-48 hours: ER visit xray for youngest xray for me Ortho visit, casting room for youngest Doctor's visit for me and shoulder Back to doctor's office 24 hours later for a derm apt (needed an injection for a keloid that formed from a darned mole removed 10 yrs ago) (Yes, I put off getting things taken care of) Scheduled MRI for Thursday evening for fore mentioned shoulder issue Ran to CVS, cleaners and market after derm apt and before picking youngest up from lunch bunch. Can't wear sling that I'm supposed to because I'm too busy running back and forth in my car to drs appointments Picked up youngest from preschool and came home to spill water all over school form that needs to be returned tomorrow Fought with youngest over the fact that I will not run out to the market for Popsicle's even t...

My second 24 hours--- (After husband comes home)

Dear husband arrives home from his bachelor party weekend with a voice that I can hardly recognize. First thought-hangover. When he assures me it isn't I then realize he sounds like he swallowed a frog that just keeps getting worse. I sympathize for a few minutes. Ask if he needs anything, does he want to go lie down. Once he assures me he is okay I pawn the boys off on him and head to the mall. I'm not callous but am just married to husband of the year. Every year. My brother in law is getting married in a few weeks and I still do not own an outfit for the rehearsal dinner. I leave boys and husband playing happily outside. They were planning to go get ice cream. I felt no guilt. Cell phone rings just as I'm admiring my 11 lb weight loss in the dressing room at Nordstroms. "Are you coming home soon?" Dear husband asks. He never calls to ask me to come home. I figure it's bad. Turns out youngest fell at the playground off of these god forsaken steppin...

My 24 hours as a single parent

Dear husband went to NYC for Brother in law's bachelor party. I was to be a single parent for 24 hours. Luckily the weather was in my favor so our first hour of business was to head to the Zoo. 20 minutes into my 24 hours: "Mommy. Are we there yet? What exit is the zoo? Are we in Rhode Island yet? Is Daddy in New York yet? Is Daddy behind us still?" (Dear husband left for his trip shortly after us. Oldest was quite focused on where he was in his travels..at every moment) "Mommy. What does that spell on that sign right there? No, not that one (like he knows which one I'm reading. Youngest cant read yet). Mommy, what does Aoudad begin with? I love the Aoudad's at the zoo. I'm going to show the Flamingo's how I can stand on one leg like they do. Are we there yet mommy?" "Is Daddy in Rhode Island now or Connecticut?" Arrive at zoo. Apparently 100 others had the same brilliant idea that I had. "Mommy. Why is it so crowded? No...

Girlfriends

Girlfriends are truly the greatest gift in a woman's life. I know this because I have great ones in mine. Truly- great. I believe that every once in a while, women need to clean house. Get rid of the friends who are not...truly great. Get rid of the ones who are not there for you in a heartbeat when a tragedy occurs. Rid the one who is too busy to email you because she is busy with her "new" friends. The one who doesn't come to your rescue..EVER.. Be gone ! We are Mother's now. Grown women who do not have time to relive our High School Years. We are watching over our own children now. We face daily struggles, heartaches, stressful times...we need girlfriends to support, hug, vent with, talk to, drink with, cry to. We need girlfriends to gossip with, share afternoon playdates with, discuss aging medical changes, vent about our 10lbs that we still cannot shed, bitch about what our husbands did or didn't do, exchange a good book with, meet for coffee. ...

Remember when

Remember when I couldn't wait to quit my job and become a stay at home Mom? I dreamed about days at the park hanging out with other moms, staying home and watching daytime TV, thinking it would be the easy life. Little did I know that working was the easy life. Not answering 1000 why questions within 2 minutes and eating lunch while sitting down-those were the good ol' days. Remember when my biggest problems were what Lifetime movie should I be watching this Sunday afternoon and what movie should we go see Saturday night? Remember when we didn't need to pay anyone other than the movie theatre to go out? Remember when I would come home from work to a quiet apartment, cook myself some dinner and then crawl into bed early if I felt like it. I had no one to be responsible for other than myself. And a cat. But she could've cared less that I went to bed at 8PM or watched Nick at Nite until I fell asleep. Remember when I thought nothing was more important then proms ...

Checks and Balances

There is no doubt I love both of my sons equally. Both are my biggest blessings and truly, the joys of my life (in spite of what I tell you when they are driving me insane) So yes, I love them equally yet worry more about my oldest a bit more. Why? Because my youngest didn't arrive into the world 3 months before planned. He slept down the hall from me the first six months of his life, not miles away in a hospital ICU. Youngest breathed on his own, ate solids when deemed appropriate and reached milestones, for the most part, on target. I didn't panic when he walked late, toilet trained late or needed speech therapy at the age of three. When he had a fever, broke his foot, needed his adenoids out, I was okay. This may be hard to believe but I am not an over reactive Mother. I'm anal, organized to a fault, somewhat compulsive, and a complete worrier but when it comes to being a Mom- not so much. They get dirty; I soak them in a bath. I don't cringe when the...

I will Survive

I know Gloria Gaynor's song is about some kind of breakup but figure the words hold true to my past 8 months. I had my last, official apt with Dr Plastic Surgeon today. NB is finished (other than this tatooing thing which I may pass on. After all, how many people are viewing my boobs these days?) The appointment was bittersweet actually. I am so happy to be done with this part of my life yet, I know, NB is a constant reminder of what I've been through. And that's okay; this reminder. Because it keeps me grounded. Reminds me of the important things in life. Reminds me that I have one boob slightly larger and slightly lower then the other. Hey, no one can be perfect. I've accepted this (although I do drive dear husband crazy by asking him daily if he is sure I dont look lopsided in my bra) So I'm calm and feeling good... until July when I go for my next mammo At first I was afraid, I was petrified.. It took all the strength I had not to fall apart I ...

Randomitis

I finally lost my pregnancy weight. Yes, youngest child is 4 1/2 but it's not when that matters 2 months till our Disney trip. Boys still do not "officially" know yet am asked daily when we can see Buzz Lightyear. The cast of Eight is Enough is reuniting on the TODAY show this morning. I find myself singing along to the theme song. I'm also finding myself singing along to the newly(?) re-released bumble bee tuna add. How do women walk in stiletto's? Trying to make a GI apt for oldest son. Why is it taking me over 5 minutes on the phone just to get to the option I want? I really could eat chocolate every day of my life. Facebook really is the biggest time suck There's nothing like an old friend..