Dear husband arrives home from his bachelor party weekend with a voice that I can hardly recognize.
First thought-hangover.
When he assures me it isn't I then realize he sounds like he swallowed a frog that just keeps getting worse.
I sympathize for a few minutes. Ask if he needs anything, does he want to go lie down. Once he assures me he is okay I pawn the boys off on him and head to the mall. I'm not callous but am just married to husband of the year. Every year.
My brother in law is getting married in a few weeks and I still do not own an outfit for the rehearsal dinner.
I leave boys and husband playing happily outside. They were planning to go get ice cream. I felt no guilt.
Cell phone rings just as I'm admiring my 11 lb weight loss in the dressing room at Nordstroms.
"Are you coming home soon?" Dear husband asks.
He never calls to ask me to come home. I figure it's bad.
Turns out youngest fell at the playground off of these god forsaken stepping thingamajigs and hurt his wrist. A bit swollen, says it hurts.
I rush home (after stopping for a diet coke in the food court. I'm a devoted Mother but I'm already thinking I will need a caffeine boost for an afternoon in the ER. I already know where my day is heading)
Get home, load up youngest with lollipops, bagels and toy story "fruities". Pack the coveted BLANKIE and BABY JAGUAR and head to the ER. I have to admit, in record time we were registered, triaged and x-rayed.
"So" I say to xray tech. "What are you thinking?"
"Well" She says. "We're not supposed to really say but you see this? And you see that? That's a fracture. Buckle Fracture" Ahh yes, I recognize the term. Youngest did this to his foot last year.
Are we seeing a pattern? Youngest is a bit klutzy.
We amuse him with stickers and graham crackers as he gets splinted and made notes to call ortho in the AM for a cast.
In the interim, I decide to get a free ER consult.
Yesterday I decided to clean out the front lawn and had a run in with a large, hurtful tree branch. My shoulder is bruised and I kept thinking it looked funny.
When the Physician's Assistant and ER Doc gasped as they saw me, I knew my suspicions were right.
"That's looking dislocated to me. Are you in pain? Can you move?"
Yea, watch. I amaze my audience as I rotate my arm, do some circular motions, wave at the front desk.
They are stumped.
Abby Stern. Medical Mystery.
I had no desire to pay another $100 copay and register myself for an ER visit so will somehow manage to see my own Doc tomorrow in between dropping off youngest at school, picking him up later for the ortho apt and nursing dear husband back to health.
I'm now off to watch the Oscar's so I can learn about movies I never get to see and drool over George Clooney
First thought-hangover.
When he assures me it isn't I then realize he sounds like he swallowed a frog that just keeps getting worse.
I sympathize for a few minutes. Ask if he needs anything, does he want to go lie down. Once he assures me he is okay I pawn the boys off on him and head to the mall. I'm not callous but am just married to husband of the year. Every year.
My brother in law is getting married in a few weeks and I still do not own an outfit for the rehearsal dinner.
I leave boys and husband playing happily outside. They were planning to go get ice cream. I felt no guilt.
Cell phone rings just as I'm admiring my 11 lb weight loss in the dressing room at Nordstroms.
"Are you coming home soon?" Dear husband asks.
He never calls to ask me to come home. I figure it's bad.
Turns out youngest fell at the playground off of these god forsaken stepping thingamajigs and hurt his wrist. A bit swollen, says it hurts.
I rush home (after stopping for a diet coke in the food court. I'm a devoted Mother but I'm already thinking I will need a caffeine boost for an afternoon in the ER. I already know where my day is heading)
Get home, load up youngest with lollipops, bagels and toy story "fruities". Pack the coveted BLANKIE and BABY JAGUAR and head to the ER. I have to admit, in record time we were registered, triaged and x-rayed.
"So" I say to xray tech. "What are you thinking?"
"Well" She says. "We're not supposed to really say but you see this? And you see that? That's a fracture. Buckle Fracture" Ahh yes, I recognize the term. Youngest did this to his foot last year.
Are we seeing a pattern? Youngest is a bit klutzy.
We amuse him with stickers and graham crackers as he gets splinted and made notes to call ortho in the AM for a cast.
In the interim, I decide to get a free ER consult.
Yesterday I decided to clean out the front lawn and had a run in with a large, hurtful tree branch. My shoulder is bruised and I kept thinking it looked funny.
When the Physician's Assistant and ER Doc gasped as they saw me, I knew my suspicions were right.
"That's looking dislocated to me. Are you in pain? Can you move?"
Yea, watch. I amaze my audience as I rotate my arm, do some circular motions, wave at the front desk.
They are stumped.
Abby Stern. Medical Mystery.
I had no desire to pay another $100 copay and register myself for an ER visit so will somehow manage to see my own Doc tomorrow in between dropping off youngest at school, picking him up later for the ortho apt and nursing dear husband back to health.
I'm now off to watch the Oscar's so I can learn about movies I never get to see and drool over George Clooney
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