eatthefrostingfirst

Went to physical therapy for my shoulder and arm pain which I was sure was because of my mastectomy and reconstruction. Nope. Turns out its from the sentinel node biopsy I had (at the same time of mastectomy) The sentinel node is the one node they biopsy to make sure the Cancer didnt spread into my lymph nodes. It didn't fortunately. But the pain lingers. Apparently there is a name for this. Axillary web syndrome. "Like a spider web", my PT tells me. "Picture your arm like a spider web and some of the webbing was broken and now it needs to re-web itself." Go figure I get this odd spidery thing, I google it to find that it goes away on its own..in most cases. Some, it lingers for years. You know I'm bound to be the latter..the way luck follows me and all. PS- I will NEVER complain about insurance premiums again. I just got my bill for a $250 copayment from my surgery. The bill for the entire stay of 24 hrs was $48,062.60. Yes, you read that right....

vacation, happy to get away.. Ahh, the Go-Go's. I remember singing along with them in my basement with my 3 girlfriends. Each of us taking on a member of the group. I was Jan someone. The drummer. I digress.. How pathetic is it that Im counting the days until I get 2 nights away with my husband and no kids? It's pathetic because if you've been following along, the vacation that I sing about is to State College, PA. Not exactly the tropics filled with palm trees and cute drinks with umbrellas. No, our two day get away will more likely be filled with brew pubs, football, lots of "remember when" and late nights. I wont be basking in the sun but basking in the smell of beer. No cute drinks with cherries on tops or mid afternoon naps. For those who knew me in my 20's may be surprised to know that I no longer can make it up past 11pm and surely cannot drink more than three (okay, two) glasses of wine before getting tipsy. My college days are behind me and my ma...

When did Date Night turn into "Running errands"? "Because it's easier" is the right answer... Yes, running to pick out paint chips, a trip to Home Depot. Shopping for jeans, shoes and clothes at Wrentham Shopping Outlets followed by an early dinner...it's all just easier without the kids. So we spend $75 for our sitter so we can do all this without whining children at our feet and still manage to be home by 8PM. Lets add that during dinner dear romantic husband was watching the Sox/Yankees game and then came home to watch Penn State Football. Wow, when did my life become so exciting?

I may be the only Mom known to cry during their child's curriculum night. It's only Kindergarten but there I was, tearing up as my son's teacher read an excerpt from "All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten". Clearly I love each of my children equally. However with Jared, each milestone is just a BIT more sentimental for me. Each chapter in his life just seems a TAD more momentous. Yet again, for those who know me, know I'll probably still cry at Jeremy's curriculum night. Here's the excerpt Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school. These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you h...

I re-read my entries from this summer. Summer. Only 2 months ago. I am 8 wks post op and it feels like 8 yrs. I suppose this is a good thing. My scar is not as raw. It no longer itches and I no longer spend hours in front of the mirror checking out NB. Honestly, sometimes I forget about NB. That's how normal it now feels. I still have shoulder pain and am going to Physical Therapy next week to hopefully learn some stretches to rid the pain. (Actually more like a constant ache) I'm scheduled for surgery in a few weeks to lift HB(healthy boob) and to make me a perfect match. Then... that's it. I'm done. I finish 2009 cancer free baby!

Most of you may know that Dear Husband and I struggled for a few years with infertility issues. I went through a total of 6 IVF cycles (Invitro Fertilization). #5 and #6 were a result in Oldest, my angel Zachary, and then Youngest. Those days were plain hell. I mean it. Every month that I wasn't pregnant I would crawl into bed for a day or two, crying, yelling at my husband or my mother (who would tell me to just relax and then I would get pregnant. She now realizes what an insane thing to say) I was emotional, moody and pumped with hormones. I did my own injections (bc dear husband is a needle phobe), I went for countless ultrasounds, blood tests, womanly tests,etc. only to find out cycle after cycle that I was not getting pregnant. After changing to clinic number 2 in Boston, they suggested I try using "donor eggs" (This is when you would get someone, most likely anonymous, oh, and younger, to donate her eggs to you. Her eggs would then be injected with husbands sperm ...

Are you an insomniac if you fall asleep w/out issue but cannot STAY asleep to save your life? If so, I hereby label myself an insomniac. I kid you not. I have not slept through the night in over 7 yrs.. before I was pregnant with my twins. I wake up all the time; mostly either to pee or to kick my husband in the leg to stop snoring. Last night was both. Then I was awake agonizing over Oldest's bus . Here's the issue. Oldest takes the bus to school. It's not really a bus it's a van, the special ed van. Some call it the short bus. I dont like my child to feel different so I just call it the bus . It will always be referred to as this so follow along. The bus picks him up at 730AM every day..at our house. I cant complain over the door to door service yet I do complain at the hour of day considering school doesn't start until 825. I dont complain though bc I realize she has to pick up 4 other children and get them to school. Oldest attends the elementary school th...

Stolen from a blog article that my friend posted on FB. (Tx Mar, too good not to share!) courtesy of blog www.mommasaid.net/mommablog/ 20 Ways Parenthood is Just Like College by Jen Singer 1. You feel like you’re constantly being tested. 2. Someone’s always smarter than you (or at least they think they are). 3. Your roommates are slobs, and they steal your food. 4. All-nighters. 5. You get kicked out of the library for leaving behind crumbs and creating a ruckus. 6. Keg parties and Chuck E Cheese’s parties produce the same kind of hangover. 7. You never seem to be able to get the place to yourself. 8. Naps. 9. People talk to you while you’re in the shower. 10. You hate your roommates’ music, and they hate yours. 11. You can neither identify nor locate the source of that funky smell coming from the closet. 12. There’s nothing in your bank account. 13. Five a.m. is really, really early – or really, really late – depending on whether you’ve been to bed ...

I signed Youngest up for lunch bunch on Mondays. It's through the town rec department and they pick him up right from preschool at 1130, walk him down to the rec department (same bldg) and keep him until 130. 1:30!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was very excited to go making sure I packed his "gogurt" (along with a few other lunch items). Here it is 1130 and I still have TWO WHOLE HOURS left by myself. I managed to get in a mile + walk this morning (thanks to my friend, E), worked on some PTO stuff, showered, put in my third load of laundry, put dinner in the slow cooker and yes...still have TWO HOURS! I'm off to buy shoes. Lunch Bunch..the best $120 I've spent yet!

So its Rosh Hashanah time. Jewish New Year. Time to rejoice and celebrate and then a week later repent for all the sins of the past year. Since I dont have any (okay, a few) I take the day of Yom Kippur to fast and hopefully lose a lb. By 4pm Im usually beyond famished but I continue until sundown (or there abouts) So, tomorrow is Rosh Hashana and Im "hosting" this year. Dont get too impressed. It's only my parents, aunt and cousin so it's not like Im cooking for 20. I also admit that my Mother did most of the shopping and cooking already because this was kind of a last minute plan to have it at my house over hers. It's just easier with the kids. More for them to do..less time for me to hear them whine. However, I take credit for helping with the brisket. A first for me-cooking the brisket I mean. Every year my Mother gets nervous that it's going to be too tough. Every year she asks "is it too tough" all in the same breath as her stating " I th...

I have a friend who's son just started high school (we both agree a time that we would never want to re-experience) I have a friend who's daughter is in Jr. High (ditto the above sentiment yet not as bad) I have several friends who's children have attended overnight summer camp already. I cannot even imagine the day that my boys will ever be old enough for these milestones. Sure, I know, time flies and all that but my two just spent the last hour arguing over a stool at McDonald's and who gets to keep the race car toy from the Happy Meal. I just cant imagine there to be a day when they dont need me all of the time. Youngest started soccer class today and Oldest starts one on Saturday. I wanted to sign Oldest  up for the town league but was afraid he would be behind and not have fun. I think the smaller class right now is the way to go. So here my boys are just learning soccer while my other friends are attacking issues like homework, dating and "where do I fi...

Im thinking of renaming my blog to the "(Youngest) Chronicles" Will I be featured in a GLAMOUR DONT shot in October's issue if I roll up my jeans because they are too long? I dont care if they are ugly, I live for my UGGS. Youngest wants to know why Grandma makes a "biskit" for rashananana Am I the only moron (excluding my husband who was right there along side of me)who watched Big Brother 11 this season? I need lists to stay on top of all my lists. I feel bombarded with stuff for the next three weeks. Thankfully Im an organized control freak and thrive on multi tasking. I think I need to go back to work. Part time. Something mundane. I'm craving adult interaction. Sometimes I want to give myself a time out.

BFF suggested giving Youngest a "placebo" something or another to make him go in the potty. Hmm, I'll give it a whirl. After all, I am all about bribing and lying to my children. I broach the subject with him this morning. "(Youngest)", I tell him. "BFF was telling me that when her little boy was afraid to go poop that she gave him special gummy medicine that helped it from not hurting and not falling out of the potty" He looks intrigued. I keep going.. "I can buy it at the supermarket with you today but after you take it, you need to try to sit on the potty that day" Interest still peaked. "Okay Mommy" YES! SCORE! (note to self to call BFF the second she wakes up to thank her for this brilliant idea) "But only on Mondays.Not on Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays or Saturdays. Okay Mommy? Just on Mondays. That's my rule" Okay, so I'll save the call.

This subject has been brought up a lot lately. With my personal friendships, with other friends friendships, with my children making friends. According to Wikipedia Friendship is described as this: Friendship is the mutually cooperative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not ...

Oldest :"do you want to play outside with me Jeremy?" Youngest :(just getting up from a not long enough nap) "NO" Oldest (determined) asks again. Youngest"NO. I told you 100 times already!" honestly,cant EVER IMAGINE where he gets this from?

Saturday night Cheese Steak Sub for dinner Sunday IHOP for Breakfast cant lose 10lbs to save my life. hmmm???

Rainy day Saturday and I ventured out to the mall. Dear husband took the boys to IKEA. We both agreed that each place looked like it was the day after Christmas. Parking lots were packed, stores were busy and the lines to the cash register were wrapped around the corner. Was it the rain or a sign perhaps that people are spending once again? I needed (okay, want) some new Fall clothes and couldn't find much. I walked by "FOREVER 21" and decided to take a peak inside when I saw a woman in there who clearly wasn't 21. If she can shop in there so could I. The teenagers in their barely size 0 shorts didn't seem to be looking twice at me so I felt confident I wouldn't be carded and it was safe to move forward. I did a once around and wasn't sure I could get my right leg in some of the clothing displayed so quickly left. Feeling all of 41 and oh so maternal I went to a safer destiny known as Macy's. The one day sale brought in everyone and their grandmoth...

4 yr old still refuses to poop in the potty. I'm googling just this "four yr old wont poop in potty" Amazingly I get 96,900 responses. Good to know I'm not alone in this. Although I'm not sure it makes me feel any better. I've yelled, reasoned, screamed, bribed, ignored and yelled some more. I'm out of patience.He tells me he is afraid it's going to hurt. I dont really get this since he poops in his pull up all the time but I'm not four so I dont really get his fears. Against the advice of my extremely laid back Pediatrician, I push the envelope. I tell him I'm going to take away everything i can think of including his beloved "blankie". "Forever" he asks me? "You're going to take Blankie away forever?" "YES! FOREVER" I yell back, acting like I'm also four. "But I dont need to poop now. I'll go tomorrow" I dont buy this. He tells me this every day. It used to be he would poop...

I was just telling my friend that there's nothing better than getting your two (or more) kids to nap at the same time. Which made me think of the Charlie Brown song "Happiness is.." (Remember from "You're a good man Charlie Brown") Which then made me think of my next post on .... Happiness is... Sleeping late The smell of homemade cookies baking in my oven Watching my six year old drive his Electric Cadillac Escalade around like he has been driving since he came out of the womb (really, he's THAT good) Reconnecting with an old friend my boys laughing Chocolate, of any sort Smores fuzzy slippers and a big sweatshirt on a cold winters day falling in love A good foot massage knowing a trivia answer and to quote Charlie Brown "walking hand in hand"

Youngest is back in preschool so now I officially have 2.5 hrs of alone time 4 mornings/wk. By the time I get back home from dropping him off we're really down to 2 hrs (give a few minutes of talking to other mom's and now doing some PTO stuff) 2 hrs. Seems like a lot. It's not. Trust me. I have time to shower, hop on the computer, do a quick errand and ...well, time to pick up again. 2.5 hrs. Gone in a blink of an eye. I hold onto the fact that in 362 days from now I will have TWO children in Elementary school for over 6 hrs/day ..FIVE DAYS A WEEK! I can't even begin to imagine the possibilities of what I will do with that time. If I'm not down my 10 pregnancy lbs by then, honestly, just re-enlist me in Jenny Craig bc there will be no more excuses left. So you would think that I would be less stressed today due to my 2.5 hrs of relaxation. I'm not. Jeremy came out of school happy yet extremely whiny (aka overtired and in need of a nap. I know. My 4 yr ...

We went to Baltimore yesterday for my niece's Bat Mitzvah. I decided to make it a day trip because I thought the idea of the boys ending up in their own bed after a long day would be somewhat easier than spending the money for a hotel and staying overnight. It was a long day. Here's a recap. I was up at 3:15; unable to sleep. (Note that is day two of waking up early and not falling back to sleep) 6AM leave for Logan with two excited boys in tow. 630AM arrive at airport. Youngest asking every 3 minutes if he will miss the plane. Will it leave without him? 7AM- safely on plane. Youngest very much relieved after asking the flight attendant and a few random passengers if it would leave before everyone got on board. 9AM- Arrived in Baltimore. Youngest asking if the car rental shuttle bus would leave before we got on board. 9:05- Youngest asked again 9:06- you get the gist. Arrive at my parents hotel to change because we now have 90 minutes before the Bat Mitzvah starts. Boy...

Once upon a time my Friday nights used to consist of my HS boyfriend picking me up in his Blue Wrangler Jeep and take me to the Dedham Showcase Cinema for movies and dinner. In my 20's my Friday nights consisted of taking a nap at 7pm, only to get up an hour later, shower, and go with my college roommates to a dive bar in Springfield, Mass. named Shannon's. We became fixtures there following the local musicians. Later in life my Fridays varied. Some were spent with girlfriends and a glass of wine. Other times it would be me and Codie (my cat) alone with a blockbuster video and take out Chinese Food. I then met Dear Husband and had a permanent Friday night date. Later yrs turned into going to sleep early only to be awoken by a child who needed to be fed. Last night was Friday and after treating myself to a manicure I went and did something that made me smile and giddy- almost like a school girl (ok, not quite. I exaggerate a bit) I shopped around the new WHOLE FOODS at L...

I haven't slept in days. Although that should be nights. Why do we not say I haven't slept in nights? It doesn't sound right yet maybe I'm the only one who doesn't say that. I awoke at 1AM and stared at the clock for the next 4 hours. My insomnia took the better of me and I swear my Ambien was replaced with a placebo. In the interim I thought of sporadic issues. In no random order: What time will Oldest' van (aka "short bus") drop him off when he starts going full days in two weeks. He ends school at 245 and I think will be last to get dropped off. That makes a long day for a 6 yr old who then needs to face an afternoon of therapies. Note to self to talk to New Michelle about that on Monday (New Michelle is the new Gretta who was Oldests' bus driver last yr. I loved Gretta. Felt my child was safe. I hope Michelle gives me the same vibe) Looked at clock again. Yup, I was still awake. Obsessed about the scratchiness in my throat and the lack of...

A very thoughtful Mother invited the boys from her son's Kindergarten class to his birthday party this afternoon (even though school officially hadn't started) I thought this was such a nice way for the kids to get familiar with each other and also a nice treat for the parents who were there to mingle. Oldest really wanted to go so I was excited at the idea that he would be social. Unless you're a Mom of a child with some challenges you may not get this but every kind of situation like this, my heart goes into my throat. I watch as most of the boys were grouping together in the bouncy castle, running around playing soccer and interacting with each other. Very few parents were being summoned by their child. Yet, I was. Every 10 minutes or so Oldest would come out of the bouncy house, hold my hand and make sure I was still around. I encouraged him (strongly) to go play with others and for most of the time, he did. Yet, a shy child with speech delays isn't one to force hi...

Oldest had his open house this morning- Kindergarten "officially" starts tomorrow. Even though he was in K last year, same teachers, same room even, he was still slightly overwhelmed while walking in. Jared is shy and often apprehensive in new situations. His eyes welted up with tears when he said hi to one of his favorite teachers from last year. Tears with a little fear. As we walked in I looked around for a table to sit at while I filled out his paperwork. He stayed close by checking out the table filled with playdough. I glanced up every so often to check on Oldest and to see the other parents. Many seemed to know each other, talking perhaps about older siblings. I knew a few of the other parents but not many. I consider myself outgoing and would never label myself as shy but there, I understood his feelings of being overwhelmed. We had just spent the last 90 days or so on summer break. Relaxing a bit longer in the mornings in our jammies, no real structure to our days a...

Went for my first walk yesterday-- okay not my first walk but my first since NB. It was a gorgeous New England evening, my husband was home with the kids and I took my ipod and walked around the neighborhood. It felt good to get into the land of the living again and the weather totally made me remember why I will never leave New England. As I walked in the door post-walk I arrived at the sight of my 4 year old running naked after the cat. Youngest was yelling "come here beadie" (even though her name has been Codie for the past 14 years he has recently renamed her)I realized that my only getaway this summer was to Storyland. Not sure that counts (although admittedly we did have a great time) So I'm actually excited about our upcoming long weekend to my husband's dream getaway, Penn State. Okay, I know it's absurd for those of you who aren't initiated into the Penn State Alum cult as I like to call it but for my husband, this is as good as it gets (almost) He...