A very thoughtful Mother invited the boys from her son's Kindergarten class to his birthday party this afternoon (even though school officially hadn't started) I thought this was such a nice way for the kids to get familiar with each other and also a nice treat for the parents who were there to mingle. Oldest really wanted to go so I was excited at the idea that he would be social.
Unless you're a Mom of a child with some challenges you may not get this but every kind of situation like this, my heart goes into my throat. I watch as most of the boys were grouping together in the bouncy castle, running around playing soccer and interacting with each other. Very few parents were being summoned by their child. Yet, I was. Every 10 minutes or so Oldest would come out of the bouncy house, hold my hand and make sure I was still around. I encouraged him (strongly) to go play with others and for most of the time, he did. Yet, a shy child with speech delays isn't one to force his way into a group of kids-especially ones he does not know. I try to remind myself of this..he does not know them. Why would he be front and center of a group? But,I cannot help to compare him to the other boys, his own age, doing just that.
I left the party somewhat sad; as I often do in these social environments with him. I called my Mother (which I do normally ten times a day anyways) to fill her in on the party. She reminds me that all parents compare their children to others. She reminds me that Oldest is shy and he will find his own friends in due time. She also reiterates the fact that he didn't know anyone. "I know" I keep replying. I do know...but it still breaks my heart.
I realize there are more heartbreaks to come as my child enters his school years. Heartbreaks of not being picked for a team, not getting a top grade or making the lead in the play. And of course..heartbreak from girls. As a Mother of course I only want the most for my boys. I want them to be confident, smart and respectful. I also want them to have friends and to be accepted.
My shy son just came running over to me to show me a car he just made out of Lego's. He is animated, verbal and excited to tell me. With this, I smile, give him my biggest of hugs and try to remember he will be just fine.
Unless you're a Mom of a child with some challenges you may not get this but every kind of situation like this, my heart goes into my throat. I watch as most of the boys were grouping together in the bouncy castle, running around playing soccer and interacting with each other. Very few parents were being summoned by their child. Yet, I was. Every 10 minutes or so Oldest would come out of the bouncy house, hold my hand and make sure I was still around. I encouraged him (strongly) to go play with others and for most of the time, he did. Yet, a shy child with speech delays isn't one to force his way into a group of kids-especially ones he does not know. I try to remind myself of this..he does not know them. Why would he be front and center of a group? But,I cannot help to compare him to the other boys, his own age, doing just that.
I left the party somewhat sad; as I often do in these social environments with him. I called my Mother (which I do normally ten times a day anyways) to fill her in on the party. She reminds me that all parents compare their children to others. She reminds me that Oldest is shy and he will find his own friends in due time. She also reiterates the fact that he didn't know anyone. "I know" I keep replying. I do know...but it still breaks my heart.
I realize there are more heartbreaks to come as my child enters his school years. Heartbreaks of not being picked for a team, not getting a top grade or making the lead in the play. And of course..heartbreak from girls. As a Mother of course I only want the most for my boys. I want them to be confident, smart and respectful. I also want them to have friends and to be accepted.
My shy son just came running over to me to show me a car he just made out of Lego's. He is animated, verbal and excited to tell me. With this, I smile, give him my biggest of hugs and try to remember he will be just fine.
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