eatthefrostingfirst

Wonderful husband took two days off of work, making school vacation for me a much more pleasant experience. Slept late (after battling a migraine for 6 days), lunched with a friend (after another 15 minute ride around the parking lot looking for a space) and this afternoon took a family jaunt to the wonderful world of IKEA. I know. The Stern family really does know how to spell FUN! Sadly, the boys love it there. Why? Because there is a play space that is for kids only. Did you hear me? KIDS ONLY? ! Cant beat that. For 45 minutes staff watches over your "toilet trained" children and then BUZZ you when it's time to reclaim them. Sounds like a kennel but I kid you not that they beg to go. After 25 minutes our buzzer goes off. Savior husband runs through the store figuring something must be wrong if we are being summoned 20 minutes early. I follow behind and get there a few minutes later seeing him waiting. I see my oldest happily playing and waving at me. Naturally,...

Had a sitter for the afternoon so decided to relax at the Natick Mall for a few hours of ME time and shopping. Apparently everyone within a 40 mile radius also had the same idea. 20 minutes to find a parking space should have been my first clue to turn around and head home. I decided to move forward. After all, how bad could it be? 200 teenagers walked into me as they texted while walking. Every other person, man, woman and child donned a North Face or Ugg apparel. (Sadly, myself included) Found a cute shirt at J.Crew until I turned around and looked at the checkout line. Decided my $29.99 purchase wasn't worth my 29 minute wait in line. Grew thirsty so headed to Au Bon Pain for a Diet Coke. Line out the door. Intended purchase: Jeans Left: empty handed and a headache. Oh, and the desire to shelter my boys from every aging past 8 years old. Can't wait to see what the rest of the week brings me.

Every once in a while, when I cant sleep (which is often) I stay awake reliving July 28th. D-day. Surgery Day. One boob day. I'm on Day 5 of a Migraine. Stress? Hormones? Or stupidly reliving a time in my life that's over? Just when you think you have a handle on things. Nightmares occur. I was so pumped up on Morphine post surgery I only remember things like nausea, my husband sitting next to me in a chair and my Mother telling me I have clean lymph nodes. Flashes of earlier appointments are the ones that keep me awake at 2AM. My first apt was with Dr. G. A well known breast surgeon. I waited for over an hour to see her. Across from me; a woman, a bit older then me, surrounded by her husband and her mother. A colorful kerchief covered her head but her buttoned down shirt couldn't cover the port in her chest from where chemo goes in to her. My destiny was unknown at the time and I tried not to tear up. I tried not to stare at the woman who was carrying on a normal conve...

In car on way to Disney on Ice 10:03AM "Mommy. What time does the show start? 11? It's 10:03. How much longer till the show starts?: 10:05 "Mommy. When will we be in Boston? Will the show be dark when we get there? Will it start without us?" 10:07 "What kind of characters will be at the show? Will Mickey be there for SURE? Who else will be there? Daddy is this Boston? I see tall buildings. Why is it grey outside and I cant see all the buildings?" 10:10 "It's 10:10" my oldest announces. Trying to get a word in. "Daddy? Is that your building? The one with the lines on it? Is that yours?" Daddy says yes to quiet the kid up "That is NOT your building. I dont see windows on it like your building has. That is NOT yours!" 10:25 "Will there be a lot of people there? Are we there now? Is that it? What are all these people doing? Why do you need to get a ticket to park the car?" 10:40 "I want popcorn. I ...

Does anyone even know what these words mean? Something about forgetting your nasty friends, remembering kindness and lots of alcohol. So as 2010 is upon us, the resolutions begin. Same ol' same ol'... Lose 10 lbs Exercise More -Sit on my ass less. More patience with my children. Less yelling. More Books. Less TV Live in the moment. Seize the Day. Carpe Diem So what are your REAL resolutions? Share with me.. Here are the ones you dont hear about. ~Screen your phone calls more often. This is why they invented email. So you dont need to talk to the unwanted people in your life. If it's important they will leave a message. If not, they hang up. Or email. I'm all about the Caller ID ~Lie to your children more often. It doesn't feel like bedtime yet? Well it is. Look at the clock (and then change the time) It's all about more relaxation time for you. You've had a stressful day. Milk it for what it's worth. ~More TV for the kids. It is not bad...

For those sitting on the edge of their seat, tuning in each day to see if there has been any progress with the pooping situation, hang on tight... we have made headway. Very little. But some is better than none. It had been days since the last poop. I told him I threw away the pull ups (in actuality I threw them away to the top shelf of my closet. I needed them as a last resort) Day 4 of no poop "Mommy. I need to go poopy" "Okay lets go" "Can I go standing up and in my pull up?" "no, you either go in the potty or in your underwear" "But Im wearing my Mickey underwear today. Will you clean it after I go poop in them?" "Nope, In the garbage" "I have an idea Mommy. I'll go upstairs and change my underwear all by myself and then you can throw out my yucky underwear. Or maybe you can clean it in the washing machine." "nope" (Smiling. The kid's genius) "I can clean it myself" Smil...

The weather outside is frightful. 12 inches and counting. During the Winter months I question why I live in New England. It looks pretty..from inside my warm abode. The kids had fun playing For 20 minutes. Until my four year old's mittens keep falling off and my older son's nose doesn't stop running. Fun was had by all until my husband ran over the Sunday paper with the snow blower (ahh, that's where it was hiding?!) and had to remove the arts and leisure section from the blades of the new machine. We then came in, threw our wet clothes in the dryer (okay, I threw the wet clothes in the washing machine, pushed start, and didn't realize for 20 minutes that I threw them in the wrong appliance), made Rice Krispy treats, washed youngest son's hands 4 times because he kept sticking his hands in the marshmallow before I could form a krispy treat and all fun was over by 1030AM. The snow is still piling up outside my window. Dear husband is venturing out for h...

Am I the only one who has a washing machine that has a mind of it's own? Mine moves across the floor every time I do a load. I know it's a balance issue but no matter how many times I EVENLY put my dirty clothes in, it still ends up halfway across my laundry room. Uggs...I now own three pairs. Shoes, Boots and my newly purchased slippers thanks to my Mother In Law's Hanukkah gift. A MUST BUY for all. My 4 year old told me this morning he "WILLNOTPOOPONTHEPOTTY EVER" Terrific. 4 wks till PR

My husband went to Kansas City for the day. Left at 430 this morning which means I've been up since 3AM. I never sleep through the night and when I have somewhere to go the next day, I wake up even more frequently. I realize I wasn't the one doing the going this morning but I was still waking every 30 minutes in anticipation of his alarm going off and him getting up. so yes, 3AM. Then he left. I was so tired but kept hearing noises. I know. I'm 41. You would think I wouldn't be afraid to be by myself in a dark house. But I am. So I would close my eyes and open them. And then I would close them..notice the pattern? So where am I going with this? I just assumed my day would end up they way it began.. crappy. Au contraire! I woke up the boys who were perfectly happy to have Mommy wake them up for a change. (Are you all in shock that I never wake up my children? That's what happens when you have a husband who doesn't care to sleep in. Or one who is just ...

My boob is shifting. No lie. Apparently this can happen to implants. Thing is, this was corrected once already when I went in to get HB lifted. But, new boob decided to reshift itself. Have a consult with Doc to figure out why. It's driving me crazy. I realize I still treat this thing as if it's a foreign object (oh wait. It is a foreign object) I find myself sometimes holding onto it when I bend like it's going to fall right out of me. It's weird. Was thinking that my oncologist told me I needed to go for an MRI on HB every 6 months. I start counting thinking when six months would be. And it's now. Six months is now. I cant believe that six months ago I had surgery. It seems like forever ago. It's still pretty raw. Not the physical scars..the emotional ones. I dont cry and stuff but I sometimes lie in bed at night (annoyed at my shifting boob) and replay the whole scenario in my head. "Hi Abby. It's M"(my doc. I call her by her firs...

I hate Winter. Sure the snow looks beautiful when it first falls but honestly, not a fan. It's cold and messy. I hate bundeling my kids up in 5 layers only to be told 5 minutes later that they need to pee. I dont have patience to put their hands into each finger of a glove and mittens never seem to stay on. It bares worth mentioning twice..it's cold. Needless to say that means I'm counting down the days until I lay poolside with my husband in puerto rico. Four weeks from today. School vacation is approaching. Another reason to hate Winter. School vacation is long. Too long! New study shows that Breast Cancer survivors who have a few drinks/week are more likely to see their Cancer return then non-drinkers. I admit I'm tipsy these days after a glass of wine and easily get migraines but honestly, cant anything get us through a crappy ordeal anymore? They are coming out of the woodworks saying they had an affair with Tiger Woods. It's enough already. Seri...

I used to live in another world. My online world. It was a sisterhood and my biggest support system when I was going through my infertility issues. The women on my "boards" (as in message boards dealing with infertility) were the only ones who truly got it. . I didn't know any of them from my "real life" yet I knew how many IVF cycles they went through, if they were pregnant before some of their closest friends knew (and in some cases even before their spouses knew!.) We were there for each other after each failed cycle and cheered when they got the news of a BFP (big fat positive). After I became pregnant with twins, I joined another sisterhood. My trached sisterhood. Parents of children who had tracheostomies. I also got a lot of comfort from a group of preemie moms. My boards were invaluable to me. Although I do not frequent them nearly as much anymore (who has that time due to Facebook now being my biggest time suck!) but there are a few from my early ...

I was rummaging through old emails and came across this quote that I had sent to someone. How often we all forget to do this. It was a perfect reminder for me today as I'm, once again, feeling overwhelmed by all of the day to day issues in my life. You know, the whole stubborn 4 year old who I'm ready to send to his room until he is 20 or until he poops in the toilet- whatever comes first. The six year old who I love more than life itself yet whose life stresses me out due to his therapies and struggles. I find myself losing my cool over whining, eating struggles, speech issues, etc. I lie in bed at night when I'm much calmer and have time to be rational and think to myself what stressed me out that day. Then I laugh because I am so angry that I'm stressed over poop. I'm angry that I lose my patience with a child who cannot help his delays and feeding struggles. I'm angry that I'm angry. So when I lie in bed after a long hot bubble bath, when I try to...

Meredith Baxter is Gay Tiger Woods most likely cheated on his wife. And Oprah is retiring. I cannot believe these are the headlines on CNN.com. Is it really still news that famous celebrities are gay? Didn't we get over this when Ellen came out of the closet? Although I admittingly am saddened by Tiger's actions I cannot say surprised. Although he appears to be a great wholesome guy he is also being put into situations where countless of women are throwing themselves at him. You would like to think he would go home to his equally as gorgeous wife and call it a day but apparently the guy isn't thinking with his mind. And Oprah. Sure it's an end of an era but really, the woman needs to call it quits at some point. My headlines of the day are as follows Six year old son cant get vaccinated against the H1N1 Flu due to severe egg allergy. My husband brought him in today to get the shot but when they tested him to see if he would have an allergy to it, he apparentl...

We feared snow. Correction. My mother feared snow. Me; not so much. It was unbelievably cold. I believe a high of 6 degrees. But the sun was shining and it was our wedding day. And perfect. We were surrounded by family and friends at the most glorious of Boston hotels. It was my dream wedding...not only the location, the flowers, the food...but the guy standing beside me. I was marrying the man I wanted (and would) spend my forever with. We took our vows and set sail....I dont think either of us were prepared what lied ahead. We were grounded people. Our relationship was solid. We complemented each other and I knew that we were meant to be. But we went through a lot of bumps along the way.Not our marriage but things being thrown at us...more than most couples do in decades. We were tested early on ... And here we are. Nine years later. Going strong..in spite of the hurdles we faced. What have I learned? I learned ..no, I was reminded, that I married a wonderful guy. A pers...

Driving home from preschool and about to turn into my driveway when I realize I can't. There are 4 wild turkeys blocking my entrance. I kid you not when I say that I could not move. I honked which only aggravated the lead turkey even more. Feathers were now standing out and they were starting to peck at my tires. Let's mention also that I have youngest son in the back seat a bit freaked out by the turkeys and focused on lunch. I start to move, only to realize there's nowhere to move to. The VP of the turkey club decides to block the other side of the road so we now have a traffic jam. There are 4 cars behind me honking (like it's my choice to be letting the turkeys take control of this situation) and the back up in the other direction is starting to get angry too. I decide to call my husband. He is laughing. Of course he is laughing. I would be too if it wasn't happening to me. Naturally though, the fact that he IS laughing angers me even more. The more ...

With the last 5 days being so busy I forgot to mention that we spent our last Monday afternoon in the ER. This is what my life has turned into. A trip to the ER is no longer memorable. Oldest had been "working hard" for a few days. Working hard is a term that we picked up in the NICU. It means breathing harder than normal, aka retracting. He does this from time to time and usually a good nebulizer treatment clears it up. However, we were on day 3 or something like that and it really wasn't subsiding. Brilliant mother that I am decides to bring him to the drs (after a full afternoon at school and notifying his school nurse to keep an eye on him) I bring him to the covering pediatrician because mine isn't in that afternoon and he looks at his sats (oxygen saturation which I usually ask to check) 90 Not good. Well I knew it wasn't good either hence the reason for my visit. Okay, let's try a neb and see if we can get the numbers up. He agrees with the scho...

Well I survived my official first year as Hostess of Thanksgiving. But not without a few bumps and officially turning into a bitch on the day prior. We had been without hot water since Friday. Those not following along with the math, that meant we were on day 5. I was beginning to get slightly annoyed. Apparently not every plumber in America deals with our hot water tank so we had to find an appropriate company that does. Naturally, after coming out a few wks ago and assuring us they fixed the problem, it broke again. They told us they had the part to fix it so it wouldn't be a huge problem if it broke. We call over the weekend and of course didn't receive a call back until Monday. Sorry, we cant come out until Tuesday. Tuesday rolls around. Again. Sorry. We dont have the part and will have to overnight it. I can assure you it will get here on Wednesday and we will be out to fix it. Wednesday. 11AM "Hello. Mrs Stern. Yea, Paula from idiot plumbing company. Unfortunate...

5 days till Turkey Day. I'm hosting this year and actually very excited about it. New house, family, good food.. and not enough serving bowls. Really you cannot over buy serving bowls so why dont I just constantly stock up on them when I see them? Note to self..do just that. Buy lots of serving pieces. Always. Boys had a playdate today. Am I the only one who's children have constant meltdowns? Beginning to feel that way. Been stressed beyond stressed this week. Boys are driving me batty, feeling depressed in general, still having shoulder pain from the mastectomy (now officially being diagnosed as tendonitis) and just feeling... stressed. So I treated myself to a massage today. Thank you Chuck! And ambien..for giving me a whole night sleep. And thank you to my husband for allowing me to destress two whole days of the week. It's amazing what having another person around can do to a mother's sanity. I love weekends for just that... daddy time!

I'm sure we could find a cause for every month of the year. I believe there is even a month dedicated to those who love sauerkraut but November is Prematurity Month so I feel compelled to blog about it. Prematurity can strike any family. It's not just women from low socio-economic backgrounds. Women who smoke or who dont seek prenatal care. I know this because I do not fall into any of those categories yet, prematurity hit our home. Unless you have not followed along or haven't know me for a while, you know my history. I can recite it in 25 words or less because I tell it so often. It may sound heartless now because of my candor but I can assure you, it's not. It lives with me every single day. EVERY DAY. I carried twin boys for 28 weeks. I felt kicks and nudges. I saw their hearts beating on countless of ultrasounds. Because I was so high risk (and hospitalized for a good part of my pregnancy)I got to see the boys daily. Let me tell you, sometimes ignorance is blis...

It started out me rushing to get PTO fundraiser forms out in the mail only to find that after I actually mailed them, two stragglers decided to submit. I then rushed to the dermatologist only to wait 35 extra minutes to be seen. Once seen, I was told that these "skin color changes" that are all over my face are called a "pregnancy mask". And that would mean what exactly? Apparently it means that I am forever reminded of my two pregnancies (which were hardly a walk in the park) and that some kind of hormonal changes occur when you're with child and are stuck with brown lines around your face for life. Terrific. The day just keeps getting better. My 2.5 hours of "ME" time are now wasted due to the doc so I race home, check an email, pee and rush off to get Youngest. The kid looks like he is ready to crash as I think about my catching up on Brothers and Sisters on DVR while he naps. 30 minutes passes and I'm barely through the first commercial. ...

When I saw an article regarding the Government's "task force" thinking that women under 50 do not need screening mammograms, I think actual steam came out from my head. Without a family history, they may now recommend that you wait until you have a Mammo and oh yea, let's throw the self breast exam out the window too. WHAT? No need to look for a lump if it could potentially save your life? And no family history of Breast Cancer? Okay, that would be me. So, I would now be waiting 9 more years until my first mammogram where then they would be most likely telling me I had Stage 3 or Stage 4 Breast Cancer that has metastasized because ...well, because you waited so long to be checked out. I had no lump. I have no mother with Breast Cancer. I had a clean mammogram at the age of 40. What I did have was advanced DCIS that was caught on a screening mammogram that was cured by a mastectomy. I shutter to think of the what if's. With younger women these days getting diag...

Wouldn't it be kind of fun to go back in time when we just got engaged? We would get to re-register! Who couldn't use some new every day dishes from Crate and Barrel? And that fifth crystal bowl that your parents friend bought you? Return it for a much needed serving platter. Note..you can NEVER have enough serving pieces. Known fact. Brother in law just got engaged. I am beyond elated for him. I said..beyond! Can be loosely interpreted as "way too into the whole thing!" I want to live vicariously through him for the next few months. I want to relive wedding planning, receiving line or no receiving line and deciding on a honeymoon destination. I loved that time. The whole kit and caboodle. Sure it was stressful. All the plans, the fine details. The fights with my Mother. But...so fun! When else do you get to be center of attention for an entire day? (hmm, other than your funeral I mean. But then, you dont get to enjoy it!) And couldn't we all use a second ho...

I admit it. I like the "Carpenters" and even own a CD. Come on, who doesn't want to sing along to "Im on top of the world looking, down on creation!" I'm thankful I have two boys. That "American Girl" store is INSANE! I often drive halfway home from preschool drop off- no kids in the car- before I realize I'm singing along to children's CD's. Yesterday I was bopping away to "Witches Brew" I am often in need of a stiff drink. Chocolate should be the solution to all. People without children shouldn't stare at you when your kid is tantruming in a public place. No, lets amend that. No one should stare at you when your kid tantrums in public. We've all been there people and if you haven't, you will.. I thrive on multi tasking. I will not be moving again anytime soon yet I still cant stop looking at the real estate section. I read obituaries. Daily. I love naptime and if it was legal and safe, I would ...

My life didn't' exactly map out how I planned it to. Although I suppose, it rarely does. I didn't expect to be raising a child with special challenges, didn't foresee cancer in my future and certainly didn't think my role as a Mommy would be so challenging. I believe I was meant to be a mother to boys. I'm not great at crafts and cant really make a french braid so I'm sure I'd be doomed! The boys..my boys....well lets just say they give me a run for my money. They are active. Sometimes fresh. Energetic (A great thing except when you really just want 10 minutes of quiet time), stubborn, always on the go and never sit still. Maybe I just described every 4 and 6 year old out there but I feel like mine come with special challenges. Oldest, as you know, has some developmental delays. I thought life would get easier as he grew. I'd hoped he would catch up sooner than he has. He has made amazing progress. I'm in constant awe of him. Friends of ours ...

I hate Winter. I hate snow, the cold and the germs. Ok, technically it's not winter yet but I still hate the germs. Play dates are being cancelled left and right. Kids are staying home from school and Lysol and I are becoming fast, best friends. 2AM and youngest calls out for Daddy. Hmm, I listen again.He never calls for Daddy. (He's a definite Mommy's boy) and besides, Daddy could sleep through an earthquake and never hear his shouting child. I go in. "Mommy. I have pukies in my bed" (I know, my kids say pukies for "vomit". So classy) Terrific. Should've played asleep till husband heard him. I need to wake him anyways because cleaning up a kid AND changing sheets at 2AM isn't real easy. Miraculously, he managed to say fairly clean. Jammies in tact. No vomit all over his 25 "friends" that he sleeps with. Dear husband changes the sheets. Okay buddy, time for bed. "NO!" Okay, knew this was coming as the kid was wid...

I get sentimental around Thanksgiving time. It's my most favorite holiday of the year ( a close second to Mother's Day. I love the company, my family is great and I could eat my Mom's stuffing for days on end. Oldest's "theme" for show and tell this month is What I'm Thankful For. He has to bring in something each Monday to follow theme (let me tell you, this is not as easy as it may sound) So I got to thinking..what am I thankful for? The obvious: chocolate and family (in no particular order) a new house and a husband who lets me sleep on weekend mornings without fail cute children who I love more then I ever thought possible..even when they are driving me to the verge of drinking The fact that I'm cancer free and pretty much skated through it all Oldest son scoring "grade level" on his math skills. (Okay, so I know we are talking Kindergarten but when you have a child with delays..everything is a HUGE deal. This is monumentous!) ...

First off, I haven't even experienced a turkey coma and Santa has already hit the malls. Can we celebrate a day of thanks first before pushing the Ho Ho Ho's on us? Tis the season for germs. The media has put us in a frenzy over this swine flu and every mother, including myself, has been running to the pediatrician in fear of the flu. I'm not an over reactor when it comes to my kids. Really, true fact. I dont fret when they play in the dirt (yet I do come home and change their clothes if I think they may stain. That's just called me being anal) and if they have a sniffle I dont keep them home from school. I actually usually chalk it up to allergies. However, I do find myself a little bit paranoid this flu season and have turned into somewhat of a paranoid freak. Our pediatrician's office calls me on my cell to tell me they have the H1N1 vaccine in for Youngest (Oldest is still on stand by to see if the allergists office will give it to him due to the egg factor...

menopause Well, perhaps the start of menopause Okay, maybe just menopausal symptoms. Still. It begins. Met with the oncologist today. Dr. E was very...statistical. Here are the facts. Here are the risks. Here are your decisions. So I send my scrip for Tamoxifen off to the mail in pharmacy I now need to go through (honestly, the biggest pain in my butt. I much prefer CVS and my resident pharmacist who is the most helpful person on the planet and always, ALWAYS, asks how my boys are doing.) But, thanks to husband's insurance plan..this is what we need to do for any long term meds. Apparently my Cancer (or as he calls it, pre-cancer. I guess DCIS is pre-cancer. Which is why it's actually called Stage Zero. I dont buy it. I had a mastectomy because of pre-Cancer? To me, it's Cancer.) I digress... Apparently my Cancer was very aggressive and all over the place. Good to know the mastectomy was the right way (or in this case, the only way) to go. I also learned I hav...

I was reading an article in a magazine the other day and Jaclyn Smith was quoted about having Breast Cancer. She said something like; and I paraphrase, It's a club no one wants to join or belong to but once you do, you do everything you can to help out the new and existing members. I'm tired of belonging to clubs. I'm in too many. Lifetime member.. And all by default. The IVF club Prematurity club The loss of an infant club The 'your child has a g-tube' club Former member of the tracheostomy club Mom to children of special needs club Breast Cancer Club and lets not forget Hadassah. A lifetime member thanks to my Mom. This entails me to get their monthly magazine and invites from the local "ladies" to participate in their once a year bingo nights. I long for cooking clubs or even a good mah-jong but I simply do not have the time! And speaking of clubs..I'm making my blog a members only site thanks to my Mother putting the fear of g-d into ...

I need drugs. Serious drugs. Okay...I'll settle for a vacation. Or even a day. I need a day. ONE DAY! On the way to my son's preschool "FALL FESTIVAL" I followed a car with a bumper sticker that read " Every Mother is a working Mother" AMEN SISTER!! This is by far the hardest, most exhausting and underpaid job I've ever had. Youngest is draining the life out of me. My hair is growing grayer by the minute (okay, it may have something to do with the fact that I'm overdue for a coloring by a couple of wks) but still..GRAYING! The pooping; or lack there of, is just an issue that will not go away. It wont go away of course because I refuse to let it go; as does my equal, as stubborn as his mother, 4 year old son. FOUR! STILL NOT POOPING ON THE POTTY!! For the love of..... And fresh! Did I mention how fresh he has become? At four?! Terrible two's were nothing. Three's..I could deal but this attitude...SERENITY NOW. I tell him to...

I've said it before and I'll say it again..my best childhood memories (and many of my grown up memories) are from a place I spent 13 summers. An overnight camp, Camp Tel Noar, where I learned what a "townie" was, participated in events called "Apachee relays" and where I made friendships...friends that lasted well beyond our years at Tel Noar. If you ask an alum of his/her favorite memory he may have to stop and think a while..not because we cannot come up with one but because we come up with so many. When I first attended camp in 1977, I arrived a day late because I was home sick with strep throat. I was 9 yrs old and although excited to go away to camp, arriving a day after everyone else was a bit nerve wracking. I was greeted by George Marcus, Director of camp at the time. His white hair and gold bracelet were two things I remember most about him. And his warmth. His incredible warmth of making every camper feel that they were important. Because to Geor...

Sometimes I let my son have an extra sweet for dessert. I let my 4 yr old have orange soda or rootbeer when out to lunch. On a rare treat..ice tea (Are you more in shock that i allow my son to have ice tea or the fact that he actually likes ice tea?) When my child calls me at night into his room even after I tell him not to, I still go. Then he tells me "he wants a hug". I hug him. I sometimes yell at my children so loud that I'm always amazed the Department of Social Services hasn't knocked down my door on occasion. I pick my battles. Often. I let my kids watch TV. I, sometimes, spend too much money on cute clothes. My 4 year old still refuses to poop in a potty. I'm sure this is my fault due to not pushing the issue sooner. I blame all of you.. all who told me not to push him (and my pediatrician. I blame him too) So as a Mother, I do things I shouldn't as you can see. I give my children the occasional caffeine buzz. I often give in to their deman...

Why do bad things happen to good people and the ones that do wrong are out there without any battle wounds? I'm just saying... I dont get the people who enjoy exercising. I envy you ...I just dont understand you. Bite size Halloween Hershey Bars are sinful. I need to remember the word "bite size" doesn't mean "fat free" Food allergies are a pain around Halloween time. I have to find lists of candy that my son can eat. Nothing says happiness like a Jimmy Buffett concert. Honestly, everyone must attend one once. Are we the only family who doesn't own a Wii? October snow squalls 3 days ago, tomorrow will be 70. Gotta love New England I want a dog. Kind of. I admit I always am thinking 5 steps ahead. I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes and live in the moment.

On day 3 of "resting" and honestly, it's a bit over rated. As I said last time I was recuperating, 2 days is nice..really nice. Nothing wrong with a few cat naps and catching up on law and order marathons but day 3 and I'm getting antsy. The thing is..Im not ready to be up and about so my body basically tells me I have no choice. Rest it is. Surgery went fine. You know, the usual of get there at 6AM, dont be late, and then let me have you sit for 45 minutes until I call you to get you in to a Johnnie. Oh and sorry, there are no beds right now to put you in so lets get a few people off to surgery while you wait in the waiting room in your over sized Johnnie bottoms, top and robe (and dont forget the booties!) A bed opens and then 3 different people come to check on me and ask me the same questions as the previous person. No, I haven't eaten since midnight, I haven't taken any motrin products for the past 2 weeks and yes, I feel safe in my house. (Seriously, t...

New boob is getting a nipple on Friday. Craziness right? I have no nipple right now. (Did I just lose any male readers that I had with TMI)(Too much information. Do I really need to decipher acronyms for people these days in the world full of texting and tweets?) Anyways, no nipple. I'm not really sure how they create one although I did read something about tattooing. Jews supposedly aren't supposed to be buried in a Jewish cemetery with tattoos. I wonder if this counts? Cancer and all I would think would be grandfathered in somehow. So, Friday, I get a new nipple. And a breast lift. Big day for the girls. I wasn't nervous or anxious or anything...until yesterday. Then it hit me. I had Cancer. Breast Cancer. It's sometimes a dream to me; a bad dream but a dream. I honestly have put it in the back of my mind and have moved on. No joke. I really have. I'm an open book and certainly willing to talk about it to anyone and everyone. Sometimes I like to use it to ...

It wasn't just 48 hours ago that I was hanging at a place called "The Skellar" and now it's Sunday night. I'm awaiting Desperate Housewives to come on, I can hear the tumble of the washing machine as I sit in my glasses straining to read the words that I type. My boys are sound asleep and at 8:15PM, I'm ready to join them...all of this reminding me that I'm actually 41..not the 21 year old I played this past weekend. That being said, I am also reminded of the fact that in 5 days I go back under the knife to get HB (healthy boob. come on people, follow along!) fixed. By fixed I mean "lifted". By lifted I mean creating my sagging boob that screams "you gained 50lbs with each of your pregnancies" and are no longer looking perky so we need to LIFT you to match your NB. I'm not nervous and am actually looking forward to putting this chapter of my life behind me... packing it away with 2009. Not my best year. But I am reminded that...

As previously noted, dear husband turns 40 this December and it was to be celebrated early in style. Thanks to a devoted wife (that would be me), I finagled asking all of his college buds to join us at PSU for a wkend of Football and walks down memory lane. Husband and friends were beyond excited for this trip. It was a chance to return to their campus where they spent 4 (or in some cases 5) years as a student. A place that they still think fondly of...very fondly of. These alum's (and I dont speak only about my husband's friends) all alums of Penn State seem to have this ....cult like thing...this gleam that they get when talking about their Alma Mater. A place where, 20 yrs later, they still can remember every bar they went to, every fraternity event, and of course, they all follow their beloved JO-PA each and every Saturday during Football Season. I went to a small college in Western Mass. We were lucky to get 250 to attend a football game. Tailgating was relatively tame...

1) It's okay to ask for help 2) It's BS that G-d doesnt give you more than you can handle 3)My boys can show amazing compassion (when they want) 4)A good chick flick now and then is good for the soul 5)I can never watch too many Law and Order repeats 6) Although I know I'm a glass half empty person, I really can rise to the occasion and be strong when needed 7) I really want an Iphone 8)I have amazing friends 9)Ativan can be a girls best friend 10)Too much sun can give you a heat rash 11)Ice cream makes things okay for a little while 12)It really is only a boob

I admit I cry easily. Im sentimental and emotional and it doesn't take much for me to shed a few tears. So it was no surprise that I did just that this morning while reading an article in the magazine portion of the Boston Globe. Now, for some reason, I used to be able to insert a link into my blog and you could view just what I was talking about. For some reason, I cannot figure it out anymore so here's the summary.. The article was written by a breast cancer doc who says she has single friends who are placing personal ads and looking for the wrong thing..a guy who kayaks or likes french food. She says they should be looking for something different..someone who will hold your purse. She continues to write how over her yrs she sees women going in for radiation, chemo, surgery, etc and they turn to their husband when their name is called, and hands over her purse. The husband, not knowing how else to help his wife, dutifully holds the purse and waits. Although I never hande...

The boys are asking me daily now how long until they go to M and Papa's (that would be my inlaws house) Now I find myself counting along with them! Although I made fun of myself that I'm counting days until my getaway to my husband's alma mater, the truth be told is I cannot wait myself to go! 48 hrs of nothing to think about but when to eat, where to drink and hanging out with some great people. I get to eat dinner in peace, no cutting of food or breaking up arguments and get to watch my husband enjoy himself as he tours me around Penn State and introduces me to things like "Peachy Paterno" Ice Cream. I'm excited for him that he gets to go back and spend a wkend with his dear college friends and I'm excited for me that I get to join him. Six more days. It's not the tropics but I'll take it!

My child is academically "up to par"! I'm beyond proud. Oldest struggles with many developmental delays as you all know. He is repeating Kindergarten (as this was always in my plan.) He needs work on social skills amongst other things so it was really a no brainer for me to do this. I just met briefly with his teachers this AM who told me that he is not only doing great but "academically up to par"! Say it with me....WOOHOO. I'm so proud of him. I always knew he was a bright kid but due to his inability to express it for so long, he was delayed in that area. I know, it's only October but it feels so great to know he is not drowning in there. My four year old...lets just say I lost the control in the house. Or did I ever really have it? The kid still refuses to poop (i know, I need to stop talking about bowel movements so much but it is a natural conversation amongst mothers of toddlers and preschoolers) He is so fresh to the point of funny...someti...

Went to physical therapy for my shoulder and arm pain which I was sure was because of my mastectomy and reconstruction. Nope. Turns out its from the sentinel node biopsy I had (at the same time of mastectomy) The sentinel node is the one node they biopsy to make sure the Cancer didnt spread into my lymph nodes. It didn't fortunately. But the pain lingers. Apparently there is a name for this. Axillary web syndrome. "Like a spider web", my PT tells me. "Picture your arm like a spider web and some of the webbing was broken and now it needs to re-web itself." Go figure I get this odd spidery thing, I google it to find that it goes away on its own..in most cases. Some, it lingers for years. You know I'm bound to be the latter..the way luck follows me and all. PS- I will NEVER complain about insurance premiums again. I just got my bill for a $250 copayment from my surgery. The bill for the entire stay of 24 hrs was $48,062.60. Yes, you read that right....